I'm sorry, it's just not working out. Everyday I hop onto the Sift and peruse the latest hot videos, and I never see enough videos of cats. So I'm moving to goatse.cx.

I particularly blame dag, ever since that day when he ate a hamburger with too many pickles on it. I mean, come on. Is it really necessary to have SEVEN pickles on a simple Wendy's burger? Disgusting. That was really the defining moment of my time on the Sift. That damned hamburger. Oh, and I was eating chocolate pudding while watching "Elevator."

I blame dag, foreigners, medieval serfs, and Suzanne Somers for all the problems I face on the Sift. So I'm leaving, as I said. Please don't cry for me, Sift-entina. The truth is, I never left you.

...

You know what? I've changed my mind. Goatse.cx can wait. I'm staying at the Sift!

I want to thank QM and choggie for my return. without you guys, I'd be typing this on Myspace video right now. *shudder*

Thanks a lot!